My Husband Says He Didn’t Leave The Affair Because The Other Woman Was Blackmailing Him

I sometimes hear from wives who just aren’t buying their husband’s excuses with regards to his affair. One common complaint is husbands having a lame excuse as to why the affair lasted as long as it did. Many times, his excuse doesn’t even sound plausible.

I heard from a wife who said: “I found out two weeks ago that my husband has been cheating on me with a woman who works at the grocery store where we shop. He initially tried to tell me that it only lasted for a couple of weeks, but I got a hold of his phone records and it obviously lasted for much longer than that. In fact, it lasted for months. So when I confronted my husband about this and asked him why he would remain in a relationship that he claimed meant nothing to him, he said that he only stayed in the relationship because every time he tried to break it off, the other woman would tell him that she was going to tell me everything the next time that I was in the store. So he remained in the relationship because he didn’t want for me to find out. Is this even possible? Because this sounds like such a bogus excuse to me. And even if it’s true, if he wasn’t getting something out of the relationship, I can’t imagine him staying even if he knew I’d found out. “

Actually, you might be surprised at how many cheating spouses never ever envision their spouse finding out about the affair. Often, they are not thinking rationally and they are not really thinking about the future. Many don’t intend to carry on the unfaithful relationship forever either. So your finding out isn’t usually in their immediate thought process, as silly as that may sound.

Many Men Claim That The Other Woman Does Various Things To Hold Onto The Relationship: So the next question becomes would a reasonably rational man allow the other woman to essentially black mail him? I have to admit that this isn’t the first time that I have heard of a situation like this. It’s not an uncommon excuse. And I will admit that a number of men have made comments on my blog outlining how the other woman has tried a number of ploys to keep him from ending things.

Often, she will try a number of tactics like making him feel guilty, or trying to entice him to change his mind, or attempting to make him believe that she won’t make any demands of him. When things like this don’t work and the husband still tries to end the relationship, it wouldn’t be unheard of for her to threaten to tell the wife. However, common sense would tell you that if she does this, their relationship would most certainly change. Because they would now both know that he’s not there because of his own free will, but that he is only there because of fear. And frankly, I would think that this would get old quite fast. Who wants to continue on in a relationship for the long term when you know that he is only there because he is afraid of the consequences when he is not?

Know That The Truth Will Likely Surface At Some Point: I think that the heart of this whole conflict was the wife’s desire to know how serious this relationship truly was. Many wives would rather see a short fling than a long term relationship if they had a choice. Because the longer the relationship, the more emotional or physical connection that this implies. But when the husband claims that the length of the affair should be negated because he was pressured into staying, then the wife has to evaluate if she’s going to buy this.

I know that it can feel as if you need to make a quick decision as to whether you are going to buy this or not. But, frankly you can often wait and just accept that the jury might still be out. Because quite honestly, over the course of trying to rebuild your marriage, you will often get a more clear picture of the truth, and this often comes a little bit at a time as your husband thinks you can tolerate the truth or as accuracy begins to slip out.

I know that you are inclined to worry about this and I completely understand that. But it may help you to know that most of the time, the truth doesn’t stay hidden forever. If what he is telling you is true, then you will likely see some evidence of the same at some point or he will keep that theme consistent. If not, it will likely become apparent to you.

What Matters More Than The Nature Of Their Relationship: I know that you feel as if you need the absolute truth because you need to know just how much she mattered to him. But what you also need to understand is that often, he believes one thing when the affair is active only to change his mind once it’s not. While things are exciting and he’s right in the middle of carrying this out, he may feel invested and his sense of excitement may actually feed this.

But once the affair is out in the open, it is almost as if a balloon becomes deflated. The build up is let down and the excitement wanes. And suddenly it may become clear to him that she wasn’t all that special after all. This might be what your husband is dealing with now. He may now realize how much of a mistake that this relationship was and now he is trying to do everything that he can to diminish it in both of your eyes.

Do I buy his claim that he only stayed with the other woman because of blackmail or a threat to expose the affair? Not really. And if this were true, he didn’t have a lot of control during this entire process, but that is true of many men. And frankly, it is very common for a man to say anything necessary to downplay the relationship, especially when he would rather it never occurred to begin with when he unfortunately can not take it back.

As frustrating as it is, sometimes you have to ask yourself if you want to dwell on a relationship that is over or if you want to ensure that it is over and then decide if you want to move on. Because the truth is, people’s feelings and emotions often change dramatically during an affair. What he felt mere weeks ago may seem very foreign and shameful to him right now.

Attracting Woman Techniques: “ATTENTION” – We All Love It

So recently I have been reading articles from blogs and other websites that have seduction techniques and certain ways of attracting woman. Well I was determined to see if this worked so I stuck myself out there and tried some of these techniques and here is what I came up with. Reinventing some of them helped me develop confidence in myself so the first one I call is “I love ATTENTION” Technique. Kind of utilized other peoples techniques and put them all in one and it was a great benefit utilizing its core attention skills.

There are 4 steps in using this type of style and you may want to be a little less insecure before trying these:

1. Always travel in a pack of 3 or more.

This shows woman and other people at the bar that you are not entirely boring when you have a man pack (Please don’t use brothers or pay someone to do this). Just having your friends their will help you to be more outgoing. This also gives people a false presumption that you can be fun and be more inclined to want to be close to you and your posse.

2. Wear something that brings attention to you.

Now this is a DB move in most part because you will most likely bring negative attention if you don’t use this right (you will be ridiculed all night by other guys). So bring something that will compliment you but also something that will make you stand out. Wearing a Funny shirt, Sunglasses, a funny Hat or something that you know will be funny and off the wall. Now this works but when you have them saying something witty to you have to know what to say back or this will not work whatsoever

3. Be louder and funnier than anyone else.

This is a great thing to do because not only does this bring more attention to you but also brings you out of your comfort zone. Don’t be obnoxious because no one likes annoying people so try not to get drunk and do this. Talk to everyone because if woman see that you supposedly know everyone, they would think you are fun but also mysterious. Don’t be frightened if woman just come up to you.

4. Break out of your comfort “Zone”

This is my favorite thing to do because it is just plain fun and that is the reason why you’re out and about in the first place. One thing I will comment on this is, you have to be willing to take a chance on anything, don’t let anything sustain from trying new things. So the plan here is to basically play games, Tactics to your advantage if you have to state why. I will give you an example on what I mean because this is something I tried “so what I did was planted my buddy and me upfront of the bar and shook every girls hand on their way in introducing us as co-managers of the establishment. Of course we were not but it still gave the advantage of them stopping to ask if we were really Managers making other people look and give us attention thus creating the ultimate attention getter.” This in a very innovative approach so go in with an open mind.

I will state this worked wonders, It not only helped at that specific time but also gave me a lot more confidence in myself and communication with the opposite sex.

A Woman And Her Spirit

Author Hugh Prather from the Quiet Answer states, “you need never fear your desires or run from your fantasies.”

A woman, gentle as a flower, graceful like a swan – a most beautiful elegant species. Yes, WE hold those beautiful qualities and now to learn to embrace these amazing qualities in each one of us. We are captivated by beautiful women as a society. Movie stars that grace our screens – one graceful actress in my humble opinion is Angelina Jolie. I watched her recently in the movie “The Tourist” with Johnny Depp; they opened the movie with her walking the streets of Paris.

She was adorned with a figure, elegant and truly sophisticated, exquisite clothing adorned her body and what made her even more beautiful was her delicate walk. As the camera panned her from every angle – she floated across the pavement. Watch someone’s walk – it will tell you a lot about that person. I hope this blog allows us to think about the way we walk as women. I believe we really need to embrace our femininity and accept the fact that we were made WOMEN. Let’s really enjoy the fact of this. We were created with so much beauty within, that it shines out of us.

Let’s pay attention to our walking – being mindful is a start. Notice a woman that walks gracefully. She looks taller, more confident and truly beautiful!

The title of this blog is the Spirit of a Woman. The spirit lies deep within each of us and from that inner place it extends out to the world to see. Values, morals, character are all connected to the spirit. When we walk with conviction, with purpose we are telling the world you want to be respected, to be honored as the beautiful woman that you are!

I ask that we be aware and notice our walks, our feminine spirit and I join you in walking taller in confidence and in love for yourself!

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all!